We are going to end up in old age homes, and if we are lucky, they will be luxurious ones. For millennials and Gen Z, the days of expecting our children to be our default retirement plan are rapidly coming to an end. Over the next two decades, senior living communities will spring up across India, transitioning from depressing hostels for the immobile to vibrant, all-inclusive complexes for folks in their 60s and 70s. And honestly, that is the absolute best-case scenario.
The Great Indian Guilt Trip
In the West, individualism is the default setting; the state handles elder care, and older demographics wield immense political and economic power because they consistently vote. Their culture normalised living separate lives from their children a long time ago, and parents are not expected to bankrupt themselves to save an adult child who is acting like a screw-up. In India, however, abandoning your parents is considered a cardinal sin. Our moral fabric simply cannot accept it. We are socially conditioned to take care of our elders, regardless of our personal boundaries or whether the relationship is actually healthy. I know people whose parents completely derailed their lives, yet they are still obligated by society to play the role of the dutiful child. We even have states like Assam creating laws to penalise children who neglect their ageing parents.
I didn’t always understand this dynamic. In my early twenties, I was an irritated, fiercely independent kid navigating the suffocating, infantilising environment that Indian parents often create. When my mom would call me after office hours just to ask how my day was, I would snap at her. I’d think, there is nothing happening every day, I’m already irritated, let’s not talk. I wanted my space and my money, and I fiercely guarded my newfound individuality. But as I hit my late twenties and my brain actually started working, I realised she just cared about me. I learned to respect the boundaries we eventually established.
Today, I might clash with my father six days a week, but on the seventh day, I know I have to be there for him. It is a duty I am obligated towards, no matter what.
The End of the Shravan Kumar Era
Our parents invested everything into us, acting as our ultimate financial security in a country where the government provides virtually none. But can we expect our own kids to do the same for us? The math says absolutely not. The Total Fertility Rate in urban India has plummeted to 1.5. A sizeable chunk of our generation won’t have kids, and those who do might stop at one child.
Furthermore, the days of children staying in their hometowns are over. Kids are moving to Guangzhou, Beijing, Singapore, or San Francisco to chase careers. When we hit our twilight years, our kids will rightfully look at us and say they have their own lives to live. We cannot expect a new generation of Shravan Kumars to physically carry us on their shoulders.
Love is Not a Medical Solution
As we age, severe medical conditions—ranging from mobility issues to memory loss—become inevitable. Taking care of someone with these conditions requires technical expertise, not just familial duty. Love is a fuel that drives you to do the right thing, but it cannot replace a trained doctor or nurse. I have seen the immense suffering that happens when untrained family members are forced to manage complex medical needs at home out of sheer societal pressure. It destroys both the patient and the caregiver. Only an old age community equipped with professional medical facilities can handle these harsh realities safely.
Our Only Viable Retirement Plan
Children are no longer a retirement strategy, and the sooner we accept that, the better. It is time to be ruthlessly objective and start saving aggressively today. Invest heavily in top-tier medical insurance for you and your spouse, and do not be cheap about it. Eventually, a portion of our accumulated savings will buy us memberships into these premium senior living centres. Our kids might chip in a little, but we will ultimately rely on ourselves and the company of our peers. The societal stigma will fade, old age communities will rise, and we better hope we have the financial foresight to afford a good one. Be nice to your kids, but start planning for yourself.
Pol Ke Bol! 